we were in the car and my dad was all like “if all the other kids jumped off a bridge would you” and I was like “yeah cause there’d be a huge pile of bodies to land on” and he starting choking and almost swerved off the road
the funniest part of macbeth is when the soldiers all cut a branch off a tree to hold in front of them while they march toward’s macbeth’s castle in hopes that he will somehow think they are all trees and not an army
the second best part is that it actually works
0m:
You give me a boner
not a penis boner
but a boner in my heart
a heart on, an affection erection
(via browningtons)
Right so im walking home and I see this guy rolling a cigarette under a streetlamp and when he clicked his lighter THE FUCKING STREETLIGHT WENT OUT
I stopped in my tracks and stared at this guy who looks up at me then to his lighter and hes as surprised as me then he takes his thumb off the trigger and THE STREETLIGHT TURNS BACK ON
HE GAVE THE MOST SURPRISED LOOK OF ANYONE EVER AND THEN SHOUTED “LATER MUGGLES” AND FUCKING RAN OFF
AM I DREAMING
way of the future. way of the future. way of the future. way of the future. way of the future
(via browningtons)
people* are having serious discussions about consoles on my dash and it’s actually hilarious
*GLaDOS voice* my sensors indicate that you are indeed a weenie
